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I was given the name and info. Unbeknownst of one the most loving, caring Godly men I know, which would take my life in a very unexpected direction.

About me

Supreme Court justices have cited us, along with incarcerated people acting as their own lawyers. One night, we went to Chicago and took the elevator to the observation deck of the Sears Tower. The night before our wedding, my mother and son and I had the "rehearsal dinner" at a Burger King near the prison.

I dated him just after graduating high school.

These stories don’t surprise me anymore.

In some cases, I immediately decide to stay guarded. Mental Health. It was quite a feat to get my mom there. There was a long kiss in the elevator and a view unobstructed by daytime tourists. Death Penalty.

Regional Reporting. My marriage is my story, and I only talk about it for a good reason. I always stay in control of the story. Summer ended and, heartbroken at his initial refusal to marry me, I moved four states away for college. Juvenile Justice. The ceremony lasted 30 minutes start to finish, and we were able to kiss a little more than usual.

We could not do it without you. Yes, these are people who have been convicted of a crime, but they are still people. I have many identities: I am a single mother, first and foremost.

And I am a prison wife. I was relieved and grateful for that. As he shared plans of his engagement, he asked questions about my own husband. The article was published in collaboration with Vice. O ur visits are everything to us. Politics and Reform. Even now, only a small group of people know that my husband is in prison: a few professors in my program of study, a couple of work colleagues, a wonderful bunch of close friends, and a handful of social media acquaintances.

‘i became a jail wife overnight. i was judged and ridiculed for standing by a man who made a mistake.’: ‘jail wife’ starts community to write letters to inmates, ‘i believe in second chances’

The Record The best criminal justice reporting from around the web, organized by subject. Over time, we each moved around quite a bit. Other people seem kind and genuine in their desire to get to know their latest — and, often in these small prison towns, only — guest. I wore an off-white dress and sparkly sandals and didn't care at all that his tux was his best prison blues, a special new set he got in time for the occasion. I've never been happier in my life, but I still have days when I struggle.

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I am a full-time employee during the day. Before this, I never really gave prison wives much consideration. She was not a fan of our relationship in the beginning, but is our loudest cheerleader now. A nonprofit news organization covering the U. Life Inside. Please donate to The Marshall Project today.

My relationship is still questioned by strangers, even at the correctional facilities where my husband lives. I think fast and decide just how honest I want to be. Once I told a coworker who was more than just a work acquaintance. The type of reporting we practice takes persistence, skill and, above all, time, which is why we need your support. He gets transferred pretty often, so I stay in a lot of different hotels, but the lobby attendants always ask the same questions:. Thousands of cameras were installed in the infamous Attica prison after we revealed the extent of violent abuse by guards.

What to never ask a prison wife

What matters most is elevating the level of respect for people like me and for our families. up to receive "Life Inside" ed to you every week. We walked on the beach. The Language Project. It took me some time to even identify as one. Before you go The latest on coronavirus and the justice system. We shopped at the mall where I applied for my first credit card to buy his ring when I first proposed. That summer, we went to the amusement park.

The story of a "prison wife"

I would like a little bit of empathy. Decades passed, and after we both got divorced, I got an unexpected message from his sister. It is not for shock value. He married and had a family.

These stories don’t surprise me anymore.

Your support goes a long way toward sustaining this important work. He was getting married, and I envied his ability to go on dates.

My husband and I met over 25 years ago in the extended Chicago suburbs of Northwest Indiana. I have to plan our visits months in advance: packing prison-approved clothing, getting the right combination of coins for the visiting-room vending machines, double-checking my hotel reservations and safety-checking my car for a nearly 1,mile trip from Kansas to Michigan.

‘i became a jail wife overnight. i was judged and ridiculed for standing by a man who made a mistake.’: ‘jail wife’ starts community to write letters to inmates, ‘i believe in second chances’

My husband and I were married last year, close to three years after being reunited through his sister. My coworker was always a respectful guy, but for a second, he froze and panicked. At one, I approached the desk to check-in for a visit, and the CO said:. Even the "bad people" are someone's mother, father, child, or friend.

Your prison stories

We married before visiting hours, when no one else was in the visiting room. They might not care either way that my husband is incarcerated. Donations from readers like you allow us to commit the time and attention needed to tell stories that are driving real change. Will people be respectful if I tell them that my husband is incarcerated?

The story of a "prison wife"

Jumping right to that question feels dehumanizing because it reduces the person in prison to nothing more than whatever their charge might be. I often have conversations with people unaware of my relationship who try to tell me what inmates are like. Our investigation into violence using police dogs prompted departments from Indiana to Louisiana to change their policies.

Eventually, I did, too. About Us. Illustration by Cornelia Li. Filed p. We Are Witnesses. Why would you get involved Did you meet him on one of those websites? Perspectives from those who work and live in the criminal justice system.